I have a really challenging Uranus placement. I say “challenging” because, astrologically speaking, all challenges are actually a gift, even when its feels like they’re royally screwing you over.
It’s not Uranus in itself that’s the problem. I’m a big fan of everything it represents – kooky crazy wacky old me. I love those Uranian vibes. During a particularly influential Uranus transit, I’ve been known to go full rebellion – dye my hair, start a revolution, quit my job… and that’s where it gets “challenging”.
You see, when I was little, I didn’t much like authority. I was the kind of kid that was smart, perhaps too smart, and school just seemed a little dull at times. I liked to talk and draw and play. I liked stories and reading and I really didn’t like grammar or maths.
I got the grades, but I never really thrived at school, and I particularly resented the way that teachers had the power to knock you down and crush your confidence with surprisingly little care.
I know I’m not the only one who has been humiliated by a teacher at some time or another.
Sometimes it was my fault. I talked too much. I forgot my homework. But most of the time it was because your typical authority figure is just another human person with issues, who unfortunately decided to take them out on you. You were just collateral damage, but it doesn’t make it any less upsetting, and as a child you don’t know any better. You just assume it’s your fault.
Being singled out while the other kids stare. Humiliated, and after a while it starts to sink in. Your confidence wanes and you recede just a little bit. Make yourself smaller. More manageable. Less noticeable.
I stopped asking questions. Stopped wanting to “fit in” and “do well”. I got angry, and that’s when I started rebelling.
We take these experiences with us throughout our lives, most of us without even realising. I certainly didn’t realise how much of an effect my childhood teachers had on me until I delved into the world of astrology.
My Uranus is conjunct Saturn in the 5th house. The planet of rebellion joins the planet of tradition in the house of childhood and creativity. A struggle ensues.
This struggle has seen me continually reject the status quo, recoil from the power wielding authority figures who abuse their status and make me feel small.
That sensitivity to being unfairly treated has meant I’ve quit nearly every job I’ve ever had. I’ve struggled with just accepting bad bosses like everyone else. I’ve even stormed out once. The defensive child inside me has been fed up with “authority” for a long time – who put them in charge anyway?
So, you can see how this might have got me into trouble once or twice.
I hadn’t realised that my inner child was so defiant; so scared. The teachers weren’t the only ones lashing out. I’ve been carrying some serious childhood baggage.
All I’ve ever wanted is to create and play. Uranus in the 5th house would normally be a barrel of monkeys – fun, creative, wacky, original. But there sits Saturn, reminding me to respect my elders, get them to like me. Be a good girl so they would approve of me. It’s an eternal bullshit tug-of-war, but it is also my gift.
Without this gift, I wouldn’t rebel. I wouldn’t stand up for myself, and for others. It may get me into trouble but if there’s one thing my little Saturn-Uranus menage a trois has taught me, it’s that authority is earned.
When I begin to pass on my wisdom to others, I want to respect where I was shown none. I want to guide gently and support, rather than crush. Use my power for good; to lift people up not put them down.
We are all our own teachers now, and the inner child needs us to address its needs. Show it the encouragement and nurturing that we may not have had.
If these problems aren’t faced and healed, they simply fester in the unconscious, and our inner child is never free.
But if we can harness our challenges and turn them into gifts, we can finally heal.
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