What are you looking for? Is it an awesome career? A love story for the ages? A home, a baby, a bank account, a pen? Are you looking for a pen? Cos that’s what it feels like – this spiritual awakening stuff. Looking for something but you don’t know what. Like when you walk into a room and forget what you went in there for. I’m being deliberately cryptic of course so let’s get into it…
5 clues you’re seeking something you already have:
1. You feel like you’re missing something
Hold your hand up if you always feel like something isn’t quite right yet, like if you could only just figure out what this not-right-thing is then everything would be perfect – everyone? Ok, so I thought.
I get this on a daily basis. This niggling feeling in the back of my skull that I should be doing or realizing something and yet I can never quite put my finger on what it is exactly.
It’s like those times when you’re trying to remember a name or a word and you usually know it but right now just can’t quite bring it into the forefront of your mind. You rack your brain, trying to pin it down, maybe you’ve even got one letter – hmm it begins with a ‘B’ but I just can’t remember.
Then three weeks later you wake up at 3am and BAM you’ve remembered the name. It was Barbara. Now you know.
This is exactly how epiphany feels, except that 3am wakeup call never happens, or maybe it does, but when you wake up the next morning, you’ve completely forgotten what it was again, or it just doesn’t sound right anymore.
It might be an idea, a goal or an action, but you’ll never know, and therefore never be able to put it into practice, thus perpetuating this state of constant forgetful longing.
2. You find yourself going round in circles
You decide something and start to live your life according to this new decision, maybe it’s that you want to be a florist. You start studying floristry, set yourself up a website and start marketing your mad flower skills, but at some point you grow tired of tulips and wonder if roses are really enough, so you put down your scissors and pick up the thinking hat again.
Eventually, you might decide that floristry isn’t for you, and try something else (repeat previous section), or you may realise that you’ve just been in a slump and that floristry is truly for you, so you pick that back up again (and again, repeat previous section).
Maybe you’re a more dedicated sort than our florist friend here and maybe you stay on your chosen path, come rain or shine you keep going, but even then, you have days when you wonder if you made the right choice, if you’re really doing what you should be doing.
So, is our life just a serious of cycles? Circling from one thing to another and back? Saying to ourselves YES then NO then YES then NO again, hoping that we end it all on a YES.
Or does none of this stuff actually matter and we’re distracting ourselves with decisions and careers and identities, and really, we’re seeking something far bigger?
3. Some days you think you have it
So, we know that there is this BIGGER thing that we’d all like to get our hands on, but if we don’t know what it is, then how the hell are we meant to know when we’ve found it?
Well, you know those EUREKA moments, when it feels like a door has been opened in your mind and all the knowledge just floods in, making you feel connected to a higher power, to everyone on the planet, and you feel this expansive weightlessness lift your crown.
Everything is ok and you know what to do.
Then just as soon as it came in, it blows out of town again in a trail of dust, taking its secrets with it, and you try to grasp at it, snatching at the air in desperation. No luck.
Yeah, those moments are when you KNOW the title of this article is true: you already have what you’re looking for.
You already have everything you need.
But try telling that to post-enlightenment you, it just won’t go back in, the door has closed and we’re back to square one again, OR ARE WE?
4. Sometimes it lasts a little longer and something sinks in
If we’re lucky, we’ll keep having these mini ‘strokes of knowing’ (cos sometimes they really do feel like a stroke, maybe that’s where the phrase ‘stroke of genius’ comes from?), and the information we seek will start to sink in, like water seeping into a dry sponge.
Over time, this osmosis of knowledge will lift our consciousness and we’ll find ourselves naturally drawn to things we KNOW to be truthly, good and right.
It’s like learning a new language while you sleep, you’ve just got to wait for your subconscious to take it all in, fit it into the right brain boxes then let you have conscious access.
Voila parle vous enlightenment!
5. No but really, you KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ok, so I’ve tickled round the edges so far, but I think we all know what I’m hinting at:
What you are seeking is you.
This concept aint new, it’s been touted by the Buddhists, Gnostics, Egyptians, Sufis, Shamans and Christians (remember that Bible quote: “the kingdom of God is within you”? Yuppppp).
I know that’s annoying because basically what I’m saying is that you already know what you think you don’t know, and wtf are you meant to do with that information? Or lack of information?
Well, you can begin to know it, yourself that is, by many means. People seem to love meditation nowadays, which is essentially looking within by focusing/unfocusing your attention.
But more importantly, you must learn to trust yourself.
When making a decision, there’s always one option that feels more exciting or right or familiar than the other. When we start to listen to that sliver of a knowing, it gets louder over time.
Most people call this the intuition, and I’m sure you’ve heard its name being thrown around all over the shop, it’s the little voiceless tug in the right direction that so many of us ignore.
When you stop ignoring the intuition and looking outside of yourself for answers, you’ll quickly realise that you already know exactly what you must do.
It might be to go and become a florist, or maybe it’s just to find a pen and write, it might be that you need to go somewhere or do something first, before you get to find out what it is you already know.
So, if you’re feeling confused about what you don’t know, stop panicking and wait for the answer to reveal itself to you.
Since it’s you that will be revealing this answer, all you really need is yourself, the rest will fall into place.
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